Mom life. We’re surrounded by the message that it’s the tired life. The no-time-for-myself life. The hard life. We’re supposed to get through it. Survive. Cling on by the last little thread. And at the same time, Carpe Diem—enjoy every moment because it’s going to go by so fast. The typical mom culture that sends us all kinds of mixed, typically negative messages. We shouldn’t take care of ourselves; it’s selfish. The more ragged you run yourself, the bigger your badge of honor. But also, ditch your mom bod and work out. Don’t yell. Make more money. Show up. Be better, but not at the expense of time with your kids. I am putting a hard stop to all of this. While being a mom, running a business, and whatever else you might have going on is hard, it is a lot and there’s lots of giving of yourself, the idea that motherhood means living a joyless, nonstop-hustle-with-zero-balance kind of life, where you give and give and give and never take, needs to stop.
I’m on a mission to help you stop counting down the minutes till bedtime (at least most days). Stop the mom guilt and shame game. Stop cleaning up after your kids’ childhood and start being present for it. I want to help you thrive in work, home and life. I believe in John 10:10 that we are called to living an abundant life and I know moms are not excluded from that promise. Join me in conversations about simplicity, some business and life hacks, spirituality and lots of other good stuff that leads to a life of less for the sake of enjoying more in your motherhood. I’m Allie Casazza and this is The Purpose Show.
ALLIE: Friends, welcome to this incredible episode of The Purpose Show. I am freaking out that this is being released into the world.
I have a new friend. Her name is Jammie Baker. She’s effing amazing. Get ready to meet her and fall in love with her.
This episode was also a part of The Purpose Show live event and I have really good news about this one. You’re going to freak out. It’s all about getting dressed, putting yourself together, and wardrobe.
There’s an episode that I did called Simple Stellar Style: Everyday Wear Must Have’s, and I talked about if I had to rebuild my wardrobe all over again, what would I buy? What pieces are worth it? How do I get myself put together?
And that is one of the top three most loved, most shared, most listened to episodes of The Purpose Show ever, which is hilarious to me because there’s a lot of heart in The Purpose Show. There’s a lot of crying. There’s a lot of vulnerability. And you guys love which jeans I buy the most.
I do love talking about this kind of stuff. You guys know I love clothes. I love fashion. I love feeling good, putting myself together, and I’m happy to talk about it.
And you guys are going to love this episode because Jammie used to be a celebrity stylist. That’s what she did for years. And then she became a mama and decided to stay home and turned her expertise into an online business.
She’s amazing, fun, and real. She’s going to give you tips that you can actually take action on. That you can actually do no matter what your budget is, what your lifestyle is, what your body shape is right now.
Whether you’re postpartum, you feel like you’re not yourself right now, or if you feel amazing, it doesn’t matter. She’s here to help you.
This episode is going to be your new BFF. I’m telling you, it’s amazing!
Not only is this episode amazing, but Jammie has also gifted us with all of her expertise in this episode and her Momiform™ (which is her trademark word), body shape guide and a style guide. Those are free PDFs that you can get by going to alliecasazza.com/podcast/194.
You can get those guides. They are worth typing in that link and going and checking them out. They are free. They are right there for you. You’ve got to go and get them. Jammie is so kind to offer that to us.
I have even more good news about this! Jammie and I have since recorded a followup episode with even more juicy details and help about all of this amazing stuff that she’s so good at to help you get dressed, show up for yourself, show up for your family, show up for your life in this way and feel really, really good.
There’s so much good coming!
I really clicked with Jammie. I really respect her message. I really get behind it. I love it. And I think we’re going to be seeing a lot of each other work-wise because we’ve got a lot of ideas to do things together.
We’re going to start with this episode and then there’ll be a follow-up one for you really, really quickly because we’ve already recorded it and it’s so good.
Welcome Jammie, and enjoy this conversation. Listen, you have got to take screenshots and tag us on Instagram. This is a seriously, seriously, juicy, shareable episode.
I think every mom and every woman in the world needs to listen to episodes like this, needs to feel empowered about their body, not down on their body, able and inspired to get dressed to honor themselves, honor their lives, and honor their bodies by getting dressed.
Let’s share. Tag both of us. We’d love to see that you’re listening.
And when you tag us, feel free to share your biggest takeaway. We would love to know which parts of this really hit home for you because that tells us what you want more of and there may be even more juicy episodes coming your way.
Please enjoy this conversation with Jammie Baker:
ALLIE: Friends, this is Jammie Baker. She’s incredible. I love the way you share on Instagram. Maybe it’s just your energy or something because you’re not doing anything that’s so out of the norm, but you’re just very authentic.
I really like following you. I like everything that you’re about. You’re big on getting dressed, showing up for yourself, showing up for your life by the way that you get dressed for the day.
And that is so my jam. I’m so excited!
Tell us how you would define what it is that you do and what you do in your business during the day, and everything that you believe about this. Let’s dive all the way in.
JAMMIE: I feel like what we do aligns so much. I love the minimal thing, but why put rules on fashion? That is not fun. We don’t need to go overboard.
I started in Hollywood styling people like Carrie Washington and the NBA. And that is so cool for the resume, but honestly I don’t have a heart for that. It’s not my passion. I have a passion for real women. So, I changed into personal styling.
Then I got pregnant, then I was postpartum and I was like, “What do I wear? This is so hard. If I’m a professional and I’m having a hard time getting dressed, what are the rest of the moms doing?”
Now I get it. Now I get why so many moms end up in sweat pants and you hear, “Put the kids first. It doesn’t matter. I’ll buy clothes when they’re older, when I have more money, when I go back to work” or whatever that “when and if” scenario is that I hate.
So, I started becoming a mom stylist. Then I coined the phrase “Momiform™” because I believe in simplifying. The Momiform™ is essentially a uniform for moms.
Create a cohesive wardrobe that makes getting dressed easy. When you open your closet, you should look at everything and have happy feelings. You start your day in your closet.
We don’t realize how many negative things we say about ourselves when we think, “Oh, those jeans used to fit me before kids. Oh, that was the dress I used to wear when my husband and I had time to go out. Oh, I wish I could be this person, this person, this person,” instead of, “Oh my gosh, everything fits me. Everything makes me feel confident. I love it.”
I’m not saying you have to dress to the nines. I have on a Def Leppard T-shirt and a denim jacket. I’m not getting ready for some huge ballgown type of event. I’m getting ready to live my life and I want other moms to do that too, but not add stress. It can be simple.
I was looking for it the other day and I couldn’t find it, so don’t directly quote me on this guys, but I know I have seen a study that was showing the psychological effects of basically walking into the past or walking into ‘what if’ and they were using this example. It was talking about when you walk in to your closet and you think, “Oh, I used to fit that.”
Your subconscious knows that it’s there, so when you walk in it’s like you’re not enough. You haven’t done what you’re supposed to. You should be back to that size now, which is ridiculous.
But the fact that you’re holding onto it says something to your brain. It’s not good. It’s not serving you.
And moms have a enough going on as it is. We need to be setting ourselves up for what is going to make things simplest. What is going to serve us so that we can do our best? And having stuff that fit us before we became mothers, before our bodies gave us this gift is not usually a positive reminder, and it’s in our way.
JAMMIE: It’s totally in your way. And think of how that compounds every year. Think of the amount of minutes we spend negatively talking to ourselves first thing in the morning before we ever do anything else. Think of how many hours that turns into over a year? Five years? It’s not healthy.
And what is this whole “getting back to ‘her’” anyway? We’re not going back to her. We’re never going back to her. We are never going to be her again.
My hope for all women is that you don’t want to be her again. You want to be the best version of yourself and going forward.
ALLIE: Yeah, absolutely. I love that so much.
Talk to us about the Momiform™. Everyone has their own style. Even if they think they don’t, they do. Do you have a Momiform™ for each style? How does this work?
JAMMIE: I believe there are three steps that everyone has to take to really get into curating a Momiform™ that works for you. I call it a capsule-ish wardrobe because I’m not into those rules of a capsule wardrobe.
Find your true style instead of copying everybody else, which I think with this age of Instagram, so many moms find themselves thinking, “Oh, that looks so good on her, so it’s going to look so great on me. But she’s 6’2”. She takes pictures for a living. She’s a size double zero. You’re 5’4”, a size six, and you chase toddlers all day. It’s not going to work.
What we need to do is really get clear on three things. The first thing being, what is your style type?
There are five basics. You can get so technical with style and I just won’t even go there. Let’s keep it simple: boho, classic, feminine, sporty, and edgy.
And usually, you have a primary and a secondary. You can be classic, structured clothing with a pop of edge. Allie, I would say yours is probably boho and edgy.
ALLIE: I was going to say, we should walk through this using examples. And I was going to say for myself, definitely boho.
We were doing a video project and the girl who’s in charge of the visuals and making sure nothing is distracting said, “Um, so for this, you can’t wear any patterns. You can’t wear just black and you can’t wear white.”
Literally, you go into my closet and it’s Anthropology florals. I had to go get stuff.
Then, I think on baseball days and mom days at the park, I kind of go a little sporty.
JAMMIE: The athleisure look. You pull that off really well. I love the way you get dressed because you’re not going by what society tells us to be. The world so badly wants to tell us who we should be. What you need to buy this year and what you need to wear to be cool.
We need to throw all of that to the side, get really clear, and mentally flush all that out. What do I love to wear?
Here is an example. For me, I love boho. I love the flowy things you wear, Allie. I think they’re so beautiful.
I love free people. I can get the catalog and I just want to soak it all in. I want to go in that store and buy everything.
But it does not look good on me. It’s not for my body. When I wear it, maybe it looks okay, but I don’t feel good in it. It’s not what makes me feel beautiful and confident.
There’s a difference between something being aesthetically pleasing and something we actually love to wear. We need to realize, “Oh my gosh, that is beautiful on Allie. That boho dress is gorgeous and I can appreciate it on her, but I don’t have to wear it. I don’t have to spend the money on it and put it in my closet just because she’s wearing it. It’s not for me.”
We need to get to that point, to be able to get clear and have our mind focused on what we actually love.
ALLIE: It’s like the thing that we always talk about, ladies, with decluttering your home. You need to learn the art of appreciating without having to have.
When you’re at Target, you’ve got a budget, and you’re trying not to bring a bunch of crap into your house, you can think, “Oh my gosh, this shelf is so cute. This decor is so beautiful, but I don’t have the budget for it. I don’t have the space for it. I don’t have a need for it.”
Just appreciate it and move on.
Target spends billions of dollars on the marketing of the layout of the store. It’s literally designed to make us think, “I have to have this.”
Learning the art of saying, “This is so beautiful. I wish I had a spot for it, but I just don’t” is so good. And you can do that with style. You can appreciate that someone else looks like a goddess in an outfit and let the appreciation be enough.
JAMMIE: Yeah. That’s so important.
I think that’s the first step to realizing you need to make this about yourself and not what everyone else tells you that you need to be. It’s such a mental roadblock that you need to get past and be able to own it and embrace who you are.
And like you said—what your budget is. You don’t have to wear designer. Money cannot buy style just like money can’t buy you the perfect home.
You have to be able to put your own work into it. Money can’t buy you style. You can’t go into Nordstrom and have style just because you buy everything on the rack. That’s not going to work.
The second thing we really need to learn is our body shape. Because our bodies change after having babies, every woman thinks, “I’m bigger in the middle. That’s it. I’m bigger in the middle.”
Just because you have a little extra squish does not mean you’re bigger in the middle. And there’s nothing wrong with any of the five body shapes. You can be a size 2, a size 22, and still be the same body shape. The body shape does not have to do with your size.
There are 5 basic body shapes. There are websites with 16 body shapes. But like I said, it’s simplified.
ALLIE: I’ve seen that and I already struggle with the 5.
I don’t know if this is maybe too difficult without visuals but could you go over those types?
JAMMIE: There are 5 basic ones.
Proportioned is the first one. Straight up and down is the second.
If you are proportioned you’re going to look like an hourglass. Your waist is going to be significantly smaller, about five to seven inches, than your bust and your hips.
If you are straight up and down, the proportions are just about equal, within an inch to two, bust, hips, and waist. One tip on this: if you put your hand under your rib and bend to the side, that’s your natural waste.
It’s different on everyone, depending on if you’re short, long, or average waisted. A lot of people measure at their belly button or where jeans used to fit before we wore mom jeans. It’s your natural, smallest part.
Then you have bigger on the top, which could mean bigger busts and/or shoulders. These measurements are going to stick out further than your hips.
Bigger on the bottom is when your hips are bigger than the bust and/or shoulders at their largest point. Not your natural hip bone but wherever your hip is the largest because you’re going to want the pants to fit over the curve. If you’re straight up and down it might be your hip, your actual hip bone, but whichever part is the largest for you.
Then bigger in the middle is where that natural waist is going to be the largest of the three measurements.
Just because you don’t have a flat stomach does not automatically mean you’re bigger in the middle. Just because you have big boobs does not mean you’re bigger on top. Just because you have a booty doesn’t mean you’re bigger on the bottom. You have to actually take the measurements to know for sure.
ALLIE: That’s amazing. Also taking your measurements is so helpful when you’re shopping online.
JAMMIE: Especially right now since you can’t try on clothes in stores.
Another good tip for that that’s really simple is knowing if you’re long or short waisted. If you’re short waisted high-rise mom jeans are going to go all the way up to your bra line and that’s not cute. We’re not trying to look like our chest is resting on our pants.
If you put your hands together like this and you put your thumb at your bra line and your next hand right underneath. Stack them like this. If your hands are above your belly button and there’s a significant amount of room before you get to your belly button, your long waisted. If your bottom hand is right at or above your belly button, your average. If your hand is overlapping your belly button, you’re short waisted.
ALLIE: Okay. I’m long waisted, just so everyone knows.
JAMMIE: Extra high rise jeans are going to look amazing on you because they’re going to balance your body.
ALLIE: That’s why I love them so much. That’s all I own.
JAMMIE: Me too. I’m between average and long.
Your body type isn’t going to look its best in a mid to low rise jean, because you’re going to look like all torso and no leg.
ALLIE: This makes so much sense. I try to diversify my denim and I’m like, “Nope, I can’t do it.
JAMMIE: Yes. It’s best for you.
ALLIE: Cool. This is so helpful.
If people are short waisted, what kind of jeans would they be wanting to go for?
JAMMIE: Low rise to mid-rise. If you’re petite, under 5”3’ plus you’re short waisted, which happens a lot, you’re going to want to look for a low to mid rise.
The highest mid rise you are going to want to go is 9 inches, and that’s going to be pretty high on you, so I would say between a 7-9 rise. And that’s going to hit them a lot higher than it would hit you and I.
ALLIE: I have a pair of 9 inch jeans from Madewell and I love them. They’re stretchy and comfortable, but I only wear them with the billowy blouses that I tuck in the front. It’s a balance there because if I wear a tucked in t-shirt it’s a no-go unless they are 11 or 12 inches.
JAMMIE: Yep. That 11-12 is the ultra high rise. Really only someone with a long torso like you is going to want to wear that. Everyone else is going to want to stop at about a 10.
ALLIE: Ah, this is so good.
What else do we need to know about the Momiform™ and picking these pieces out?
I love shopping and I love getting things together. My favorite thing to do is just walking stores. I like feeling into how this piece of clothing is going to make me feel and trying it on. I love it, but I know some people hate it.
How can you speak to that and creating a wardrobe that is serving you, supporting your body, and how you’re living your life?
JAMMIE: The first thing you want to do is go for the third step, which is going to be identifying your lifestyle—the 3 top things you do in your life.
You said that you like shopping. Some of us do, but most people don’t like it. I love it. But I have a job because most people do not like shopping and everything they try doesn’t work for them.
To be able to make sure you’re buying the right things, (1) you’re going to want to know your body shape, (2) you want to know your style types, and (3) you’re going to want to know what you need to get dressed for.
How many of you guys have walked into Target to buy toilet paper, paper towels and toothpaste, but you end up buying the $8 shirt because it’s on sale and you need something to wear on Friday night?
You get this one-off shirt, you don’t feel good in it, and you never wear it again. Before you know it, it’s a year later and you have an array of shirts that you bought for a one-time use. And you’re like, “Well, that was a waste of money. I shouldn’t even go shopping anyway.”
That’s because you’re not thinking about what you need to get dressed for. You’re buying a one-off item for a one-off event. You need to get really clear on what your life actually looks like, your top three.
For example, mine would be date night, girls night, working from home, and the time I spend on the playground, weekends, soccer games, stuff like that. Those are the three areas I need to shop for.
If you can identify those three areas mixed with your body shape and your personal style types, then when you go shopping you can shop with intention. Create a list of what you need. If you’re shopping for your actual life, getting dressed is going to be more enjoyable because what you’re wearing is going to be more comfortable and you’re more likely to get dressed.
I always say that getting dressed in cute clothes takes exactly the same amount of energy as it does to get dressed in frumpy clothes. But the energy you put out there is a night and day difference.
ALLIE: Yeah. Totally. I’m always trying to get moms to understand that even my comfortable sweatpants are cute, my pajamas are cute, my t-shirts are cute. Everything makes me feel better. And my energy in is a couple levels up from where it used to be when I didn’t care about getting dressed.
JAMMIE: Absolutely. When you are in your husband’s old football t-shirt and some frumpy sweats that you bought after having a baby because nothing else fits, the energy level and the motivation in your home is low. And as women, we get to create that energy in our home, how we treat our kids, and everything else has just leveled up.
I am not here to tell you to dress like a Instagram fashion blogger or a model person. I’m here to tell you that you are worth getting dressed and feeling good. And that doesn’t mean you have to show up to the nines either.
Like you said, all of your pajamas should be only pajamas you love and make you feel good. Maybe you feel good in your husband’s t-shirt with some cute boxer shorts here and there. That’s fine. But if you don’t feel good in it, don’t do it.
And your loungewear should make you feel good. You should be so ruthless in editing your wardrobe that nothing passes the test.
One more tip on body shape. The idea of dressing for your body shape is to do that hourglass. If you have big shoulders or a big bust and you’re smaller on the bottom, don’t wear big prints on the top and black pants on the bottom. That’s going to bring the eye to where you’re the biggest. You want to bring the eye to the smallest part of you.
The idea of getting dressed is not to hide what we don’t like. Let’s change the narrative, change our mindset there. We are going to accentuate what we love. Change it, flip the script on your body image and dress in what you love.
So, if you’re bigger on the top and you feel like your chest is always showing, or your shoulders are like a football player and you wear a big plaid blazer and a big graphic tee, you’re going to look bigger on the top and smaller on the bottom.
It’s really going to accentuate what’s already the biggest opposite. If you are smaller on the bottom, put your prints and bold things on the bottom and your neutral or black on the top. So the idea is to create the proportion of an hourglass.
ALLIE: And then for those of us who are an hourglass (that’s my type) I feel like I always am naturally accentuating that waist.
JAMMIE: Doing a half tuck, belting it or wearing jackets that come in at the waist. I don’t like rules in fashion, so if you want to wear something oversize, flowy, and you feel good in it – cool.
But usually, if you’re taking a photo or something, you really want to make sure you go along the lines of your body shape and create that hourglass. For an hourglass, always bring it in, which the high-waisted jeans are automatically doing for you. They’re coming in at the smallest part of your waist.
ALLIE: High waisted jeans and fluttery sleeves are my BFFs.
JAMMIE: I love it. That’s your uniform, your go-to outfit formula is a fluttery sleeved shirt, and don’t you usually do a little tuck?
ALLIE: Yeah. I try not to sometimes because I do it every second, but it just always looks so much better.
JAMMIE: Because it brings in that natural waist, so you’re showing your natural proportions.
The next step would be to think of three words. And I want to challenge everyone to do this today. Think of three words that tell the world how you want to be perceived. Three words that say how you want to feel when you get dressed.
A really common one is confident, beautiful, and powerful.
And these can be different in different scenarios in your life. For example, on date night you’re going to want to feel fun, flirty and sexy, right? You’re not going to want to feel fun, flirty and sexy when you’re showing up for a meeting.
Pick different words for different scenarios and types of things you do with your life and look at them when you edit your closet, when you go shopping, and when you get dressed. Post those three words in your closet, write them on your phone, put them somewhere, so that you see them when you get dressed, because you’re not always going to feel like getting dressed.
Allie, do you always feel like cleaning up your house at the end of the night? You don’t feel like it, right? But you know the reward on the other side of that is worth it. I always hear you talk about how you do that 20 minutes sweep. I love that tip.
ALLIE: Even if I’m tired, it’s better to just push through, get it done, set a timer. And then the next day I’m starting out with high energy instead of behind energy.
JAMMIE: You can use that same rule of thumb with getting dressed. Do I feel like getting dressed 90% time? Probably not.
I’d rather stay in my pajamas, drink my coffee, and chill on the couch, but I have things to do. I have a life to live. I have people to show up for. So I remind myself of those three words of why I’m doing this.
Looking cute isn’t a big enough why. Why do I want to get dressed? Because I want to be the best mom. I want to be an exceptional wife. I want to create a company that changes women’s lives. And if I show up in my sweatpants, we’re not doing that.
We have to show up and feel our best to be able to reach our goals in life. If I keep those three words, I’m not buying the boho shirt from Target for $8 because it doesn’t fit anything that I’ve written down about myself. But maybe if I want to save up five trips to Target, I could have bought the really cute leather jacket that I want. Be intentional.
ALLIE: If it’s a staple, you are going to rewear it. You can mix and match it. It’s so much better than the quick buy that’s cute but that’s not really doing you any favors.
I have a faux leather jacket from Anthropology that I’ve had for three or four years. It’s not even real leather, but it’s well made and I wear it all the time. It is in perfect condition.
It’s got this beautiful floral lining inside. It just feels luxy. It feels so good.
I remember when I was going to buy it, I think it was $150 or $200, you know because it’s Anthropology, (I don’t know if I’m allowed to say that on the podcast, but it is what it is. We can all agree.) I was like, “Okay, I’m doing it.”
It’s the only leather jacket that I have. It’s vegan leather or whatever. It’s all I need. It’s so much more worth it. They have those at Target, but you get what you pay for.
JAMMIE: Yep. Less clothes, more outfit is what I go by. If you run it through all of these steps, you’re not going to buy crap and put things in your closet that don’t make you feel good if you’re really intentional about it.
Even if you don’t love shopping, even if you don’t love getting dressed every day, you’re going to remember your why. You’re going to remember why you’re showing up.
Everything in your closet is going to fit. It’s going to be cohesive. It’s all going to mix and match and it’s going to feel good when you put it on.
Your life is going to be better just by getting dressed. It will change your whole life.
ALLIE: I agree. Amen. This is so good.
Let’s get to some questions and you can take them and go on any tangent that you need to because you have so much wisdom about this.
Carlie asks: “I struggle with a lot of sagging skin in my gut area from pregnancy and weight loss. I am naturally an hourglass, but the sagging skin makes a lot of clothes that would look good so uncomfortable. What should I do?”
JAMMIE: Okay. I have two tips for you. This is on the higher end but I swear by these, and if you guys have not tried these, they are life-changing—Good American Jeans.
ALLIE: Yes! I have a pair. I just got them. I wore them yesterday. I put them on and I was like, “This may break up me and Madewell.”
JAMMIE: Yeah, it can do that. Madewell is also very good. I do love Madewell.
I fought it for so long. I’m like, “Ugh, is it like the Kardashians? I don’t know. Is it a marketing ploy? I can’t do it.”
And then I had a baby and I put them on and I was like, “What is this magic?”
There’s this compression and no matter what your behind looks like, it makes it look good, everybody. So, that’s one tip.
Second tip: Spanx carries a line of underwear that aren’t like wearing a full on Spanx, but they are high rise and they come in thong and brief.
ALLIE: Yes! In my book there’s a chapter where I talk about the C-section “dent-and-fold.” It is what it is.
I love my body, but I also want to feel confident and it doesn’t help me feel confident when I wear the cheap Target underwear.
JAMMIE: Yes, you can feel it. It’s just different.
ALLIE: They are worth the money, you guys. They are worth the money. You only need a few pairs. They are worth it.
JAMMIE: Buy three pair and wash them all the time. They’re really life-changing. You can wear them under shorts in the summer and dresses.
They’re not “special underwear.” Let’s get rid of the whole ‘this is only for a special occasion’ scenario. Your life is a special occasion. You get to be alive today. Wear the good underwear.
ALLIE: Oh my gosh.
Carlie said, “I look good from the front, but like a busted can of biscuits from the side.”
Oh my gosh. I love you guys. This is so good.
Invest in what is going to help you. Does it help you feel good to be held in? I’m so in love with Spanx underwear. I say it all the time.
It’s not about hiding, holding in, or covering what you shouldn’t show, especially within a year after a C-section. It’s like a held-in hug, like support.
JAMMIE: Oh, it’s like a warm hug. Yeah.
ALLIE: You feel like, “Damn, I’m put together!” It’s like an energy shift happens when you put those Spanx on.
JAMMIE: And everyone’s going to see it. Even though nobody can see your underwear, they can see that shift in you and how you show up. Your posture is a little straighter and your energy is just a little bit more amazing.
Jessica says: “I’m under 5’3”, and I want to know what you recommend for a straight body at this height? My hands didn’t touch my belly button when I did the hand rest test.
JAMMIE: Make sure you’re shopping petite. It makes a difference. If you’re under 5’3” everything’s just cut differently and you’re going to be amazed and think, “Oh my gosh, where have these petite clothes been all my life?”
And when you’re straight up and down you can wear a lot of things, which is really to your advantage, like lower cut tops. You can wear them and not be hanging out of them, which is really nice.
Same as all body shapes, we really want to focus on bringing that waist in. So, because you have a longer torso but you’re petite, you can wear a little bit of a high-rise jean. I would try anything between 9-10 inches and see if that works for you.
I know Madewell carries a short. Good American carries a short. Make sure you’re ordering that short because the crotch length is different, not just the leg length, not just the inseam.
Then try a little half tuck that way you are bringing in a waist. Those high-rise jeans are going to go to your natural waist and it’s going to make you look like you have more of a waist than you actually do.
ALLIE: Marisol asks, “What are your tips for putting clothes together during the season in between having babies and the constant change of weight and size and during pregnancy?”
JAMMIE: Transition seasons. I love this. I say build a mini Momiform™, not a full one.
Don’t go invest in a bunch of pieces. You can do this budget friendly. Get things like jeans, underwear, get fitted for a bra.
No matter what, do not go to Victoria secret. Go to Nordstrom if you have one near you.
Even if your bust size is changing from babies, you need one really good bra. It’s going to make a difference, especially if you’re larger chested because you’re breastfeeding.
In that transition phase, if you go out to dinner with your husband, your girlfriends, whoever, you’re going to feel like a new human with that Spanx underwear and a well-fitted bra.
Build a mini Momiform, which is about 7 pieces. Get 2 bottoms. I would suggest a pair of really great leggings. My favorites are by a company called L&M. The compression and high waist is going to help you feel great.
Get a really great pair of jeans.
Get three tops. I’d buy two basic neutrals, like black and white, and one printed. It could be a stripe. It could be leopard. It could be bright blue flowers or whatever you love and makes you feel fun.
And then get two layers like a denim jacket and a utility jacket.
Those seven pieces are going to give you so many outfits. And all of those pieces are going to feel good and last you through that transition.
ALLIE: This is amazing. Everyone’s life is changing in the chat.
Malia says, “I’ve always struggled with jean crotches looking like a penis. I’m 5’2” and I’ve never bought the short jeans.”
JAMMIE: Oh yes, girl. You need the short jeans. They’re gonna change your life. It’s not just about the inseam. No more penis pants.
ALLIE: Everyone is loving this so much. I’m just seeing if there are any questions.
Tinea says, “I’m struggling with identifying my body type. I think I’m straight up and down. That’s what I thought initially. But now I’m second guessing because sometimes I feel like I have broader shoulders and small hips.”
I feel like she probably just needs to measure.
JAMMIE: Measure. You won’t actually know what your true body shape is unless you measure. Get a flexible measuring tape, which you can get on Amazon for $2.
Make sure you’re measuring right at the top of your shoulder, right at the fullest part, the middle of your bust line, your natural waist, and the largest space on your hips. Write those numbers down. Compare them to each other.
It does not matter how big or small those numbers are. We’re not judging those numbers. We are just comparing them one to the other.
So whichever number is big or if they all align or if you’re smaller in the middle proportions, that’s the true answer.
ALLIE: Don’t assign meaning to the numbers. It’s about using this as a tool to help you support your body where it’s at.
I feel like sometimes I struggle with my legs and shoes. I feel like no one understands or ever gives light to how flattering or unflattering shoes can be. It’s a tricky game and it’s also an expensive game because it’s shoes.
I can not be uncomfortable. I’m such a baby. Even my heels have to be so comfortable. I’m trying and investing, doing all these things and it just doesn’t work.
Or with the skinny jeans, it makes my calves look muscular. I think Amy’s here and she’ll know what I’m talking about. We had to take down this Facebook ad because everyone’s comments were not focused on the ad. They were like, “Oh my God, her calves!”
They’re really big, muscular calves. I have to get wide calf boots. Amy’s laughing. I remember that. It was so funny. I’m like, “What? I’m talking about motherhood. Not my calves.”
They’re beautiful and muscular. I want them to look that way. Not too big and out of proportion. What are the rules that are helpful, not limiting, around which shoes to wear with which jeans
JAMMIE: That makes sense. It makes total sense. I appreciate the way you approach that by saying, “I love my big, muscular calves. I’m not trying to hide them. I just want them to look in proportion.”
When we can approach this with a positive mindset, it changes the whole game.
For anyone with bigger calves and bigger ankles (big ankles is a thing I run into a lot with clients) get Booties.
You don’t want the shaft to be too tall. You want the shaft to go to your ankle bone or lower. So you want lower Booties. Get them in a wide size.
You can still wear black. But nude booties, skin tone booties are going to elongate. Beige, tan, nude. In that color family. That’s going to elongate your leg instead of chopping it off with black if you’re showing any leg with your jean.
Also another thing to look for is notched booties, because it opens up. It’s going to create space and create proportion.
If you type in ‘notch’ or ‘notched’ in the search, it should really help you find some. You won’t find all of them because they’re not all labeled that way, but it gives you an idea of what you’re looking for. Cutouts essentially.
Another tip for shoes is to make sure they’re not too delicate. It can’t be too delicate because then you’re going to look unproportioned. A stiletto with a pointed toe and no platform at the bottom is not usually gonna look proportioned enough.
When it comes to the jeans, I always say to leave about an inch of space. You can do booties. There’s no wrong in fashion. There are no true rules.
But to get that correct proportion you’re going to want to make sure there’s some space there. With the notched shoes and with space with the jeans, you’re going to create more proportion. About an inch is the way to go.
If you’re wearing skinny jeans or straight jeans, it’s not going to matter. Even a kick flare that’s flared to your calf. If you have that space and your booty is low enough with a block heel, a chunkier heel, not a stiletto heel, you’re going to create that proportion.
ALLIE: Question: My calves rule my life because they’re so amazing. I have to dress around them because they’re a lot.
So, tomorrow I’m going to a holiday party and I have this cute dress that shows all my legs and I have nude heels. Is that a ‘no’? What do you wear with stuff like that?
JAMMIE: So, how long is the dress?
ALLIE: The dress is mid-thigh.
JAMMIE: Is it fitted to your body? Or does it go out a little?
ALLIE: It’s from Anthropology. There’s some flow.
JAMMIE: If it were a skinny jean and a stiletto I would say don’t do it. You’re just creating some awkward proportion there. But because your shoe is a nude color…does it have an ankle strap?
JAMMIE: Okay then yeah, you’re good. An ankle strap can make it a little bit awkward, but because you have proportion to your outfit and you’re not wearing a black legging and a heel it’s okay.
ALLIE: The fabric around your whole leg and then a little bit of skin in that heel, in my mind that should be super flattering, but it never really is.
JAMMIE: It just depends on your body type. We’re all shaped so differently.
The idea is to dress in 2/3. So if your dress is shorter, 2/3 of your body is in this flowy, boho silhouette. Then you have the simple shoe at the bottom. That works perfectly.
If you had a fitted dress and the simple shoe at the bottom, it wouldn’t look the same. But because 2/3 is taken up by the same silhouette, it works.
When you’re wearing high-waisted jeans, that’s 2/3 of your body, right? The reason you look so good in the outfit you have on right now is because 2/3 of your body has this one silhouette and then the top has another.
That’s why you always look so good when you do a half tuck, because you’re cutting off that 2/3 and creating a different silhouette.
ALLIE: I’m basically a scientist.
JAMMIE: I don’t want anyone to think too hard about all of this, but just knowing proportion, just creating proportion is going to be helpful.
ALLIE: I love wearing dresses. How do you dress down a dress without making your legs look longer than they need to look?
JAMMIE: Like a longer, midi/maxi?
I would say I love Booties. I just do. You can do a shorter heeled block Booty so that it’s comfortable.
I know a lot of women like to wear flats and I’m sure you can make that work. I don’t know if you would do this, but sneakers and dresses always look really cute too. A little chunkier sneaker is gonna look really great on you for either one.
With shorter dresses, knee-high boots are going to add that different proportion that would look really good. It could be a flat knee-high boot. It doesn’t have to be something with a big old heel.
If you want to be comfortable, make sure the heel is two inches and under. An average heel size, when you’re reading the description, is three inches.
That’s not a heel for, “I’m going to run around and do errands and be super comfortable.” That’s for,“I’m going to dinner or I sit all day at work.”
ALLIE: This is so helpful. And I would imagine that the notched booties would also help with wearing dresses.
JAMMIE: Absolutely. That notch is really going to open up space.
When you wear a dress, you do not want the shaft of your booties to hit you right above your ankle. Kind of how 7/8 leggings hit you. It’s a really popular shaft height right now for booties.
That is going to cut off your leg in the most awkward space. As long as you keep it low, you’re good with the notch. You’re good to go.
Vince Camuto has booties that are called the Gradina. It’s at Nordstrom. You can find it at Nordstrom Rack, I believe. And even DSW. The color tortilla is a really basic beige tan, nude color. And it’s notched on the side. The heel is really comfortable. I’ve had them for two years and they keep bringing them back every year. They dress up a dress. So cute.
Or put on a denim jacket and your fashion sneakers and that would be super cute too.
ALLIE: Jess asks, “Do you have any good recommendations for a large bust? I feel like v-necks are always too revealing for me, but high neck shirts make me look much larger.”
JAMMIE: This is my favorite. I just went over this on Instagram the other day. I was like, “Let’s talk about boobs.” And I think that got a lot of attention.
Family photos are super popular right now, and I deal with a lot of postpartum clients so we’ve been working around this.
Number one tip: minimizing bra. Game changer. If you are bigger-busted or curvy all over a pair of Good American jeans and a minimizing bra is going to change your whole life. Get professionally fitted for it so you know that you have the right size.
Then yes, a v-neck, but you’re going to want to make sure it’s not too low. Read the description on the internet to see how low it is. A lot of the times they will tell you the inches.
Maybe you can buy two different ones and see, “Oh, I need a v-neck that is only this many inches deep.” Anything that says deep v-neck you’re not going to want to get.
Also a wrap style.
Yes, a crew neck is going to make you look like a uniboob. It’s gonna suck you in and there’s no space opening here, so that’s not good for a big chest.
Here’s a tip on the bigger chest and wrap. A lot of times, wrap dresses are universally flattering for every body shape. But if you’re a bigger chest, a lot of times you feel like, “Oh, it’s just opening up too much. I’m showing too much cleavage.”
Take it to the tailor, put it how you want it, and have them add a snap underneath so it’s hidden. Boom. You can chase toddlers in a wrap dress or wrap top and you don’t have to worry about it opening up.
ALLIE: Kita says, “I have small arms and legs and a curvy body. Sometimes I feel like a donut on stilts. Any tips for creating proportion with that? And also advice on jeans.”
JAMMIE: Small arms, small legs, bigger in the middle. Believe it or not a fit and flare dress is going to be like your best friend. A lot of people with this body shape are like, “You’re telling me to get something fitted?” Yes.
Remember we are accentuating what we love. We are not hiding what we don’t love. So a fit and flare dress is going to bring you in at the smallest part of your waist. No matter what size your waist is, it’s going to bring you in. And then it’s going to flare out to add that proportion.
If your legs are smaller, you’re going to want to think about adding volume on your arms or legs. So like a fluttery sleeve, a dolman sleeve, a structured jacket. That’s going to bring some volume up top and bring out volume on the bottom.
Don’t wear skinny jeans. Well, of course, you can wear skinny jeans. I’m not telling you not to.
But if you want to create more proportion, go for a straight leg or a flare and even a kick flare that’s like a little bit cropped would be really cute. Think of adding volume where you’re the smallest and bringing in where you’re the biggest.
ALLIE: Melissa wants to know, “Tips for a larger-on-the-bottom girl?”
Small on top, large on the bottom. What would be a good Momiform™ for this type to look for?
JAMMIE: You guys are going to want to go for prints and bolder things on the top to bring the eye up. Whatever is big and bold will stand out. So like a statement necklace, even big statement earrings. That’s where the eye is going to draw. Do not wear the prints on the bottom. Focus on neutral bottoms, higher waisted, and that rise depending on what your torso length is, and then bringing some volume and eye to the top.
ALLIE: Can you go over basic Momiform™ of what you would recommend for every body type? To kind of put it all together in a string?
JAMMIE: Yes. I have a guide on this. I should have printed this.
ALLIE: You can give it to us too. And we can give it out to everybody that is here and then put it in show notes too.
JAMMIE: I’ll give that to you. It’s a free body shape guide. It goes through every single body shape, what to wear, my top 3 recommendation items, and then my top, 2-3 items not to wear for that body shape (just remember that’s my opinion, that’s not the rule, so you can wear what you love), and then your go-to outfit formula for each body shape.
What is most flattering for everyone is to have in their back pocket as a resource is a wrap dress. If you have an event to go to, a photo to be taken, you can’t go wrong with a wrap dress. That’s going to be a go-to.
Then creating space, opening up, like a v-neck top is going to be more flattering than a crew neck on anyone.
ALLIE: I have this one sweater shirt that’s a crew neck, it comes up here and it has those connected dolman style sleeves. I can tuck it in and it looks so cute.
But the second I step on camera, it makes my face change. I literally look round. It adds 20 pounds.
I have a bigger closet because of my job. I have ‘Allie’s living life clothes’ and then I have ‘job clothes’ and there’s always space there with the colors and the v-neck. I even have an arrow necklace that I wear that’s like a point.
JAMMIE: Let’s bring the eye right here. Yeah, exactly. And yeah, I love that point.
You don’t have to follow these rules for everyday life because your kids love you no matter what you’re wearing if you’re playing on the floor. As long as you feel good in it, great.
But if you’re going to take a family photo, really go by the book when it comes to body shape. It’s such a great resource.
ALLIE: Yeah, absolutely. Anything else that you feel like we need to know about this or that you want to share?
JAMMIE: I would say, if you can, go for a closet edit and start there. Go through those tips, those three tips, pick your three words, and be ruthless in your closet so that you can start fresh.
Really think about,”Okay, these are the items I have that I love.”
And curse my name because you’re going to feel like, “Now she made me get rid of all my clothes. I have nothing to wear.”
And you’re going to feel like you have nothing to wear. Then make a list of intentional items.
One rule of thumb for this is be able to style that item three ways. If you are like Allie, where you have specific work clothes, like you’re a nurse and you have scrubs. If you have a separate wardrobe for a compartment of your life, don’t worry about it there.
But everywhere else, the clothes you wear for your everyday life, your everyday Momiform™, make sure you can style everything three ways.
If you go to the store and you’re like, “That plaid blazer is so cute.” Ask yourself if you can wear it three ways?
Can you put it on with a bodysuit, a graphic tee, and over a jumpsuit? Or do you only have one idea in mind of an outfit? Because in reality, you’ll get to wear the outfit once a month, maybe.
Make sure anything you buy from now on can be worn three ways. That would be a major tip.
ALLIE: For sure. That’s really good.
Here’s a good question from Malia that I’m actually curious about, especially because I don’t have huge boobs, but I’m not small chested.
The big, cushy, plushy, Luxy sweaters for winter. How do you balance that? How would you style those?
I love them. The catalog or the app or whatever for the stores I shop from always pair them with a tulle skirt and it’s so cute. But the reality is I’m probably gonna wear it with jeans. So how do you style that? Anything about sweaters and that winter cozy wear?
JAMMIE: Yes. I would say stay away from anything cable knit, unless you’re more flat-chested. If you’re more flat-chested you have so many more options. You can wear that cable knit and not add any bulk.
If it’s cable knit and crew neck, and you have any kind of chest going on, you’re going to be like, “Whoa, what happened? I just gained 20 pounds.”
Always do half tuck with your sweater. Especially if you’re wearing a high-waisted jean, even though it’s a big cozy sweater. There’s one by Free People that I just love. I can’t remember the name of it off the bat, but every blogger has it. You’ll see it everywhere.
ALLIE: Yeah. I have it and it’s amazing. We can look up what it is.
Always tuck it in. If you’re wearing it with leggings, great. That’s just cute. Leave it out. But if you’re wearing it with jeans in real life, always do a half tuck.
If you have a shorter waist and you don’t have all this room for a half tuck, bend over, tuck it underneath your bra and let it hang down. Then you have that cropped look, but nothing’s going to show because you’ve got higher jeans.
It looks so cute in the catalog with tulle skirts, but in everyday life, no. But I would say yes, wear it with jeans and leggings but do a little half tuck with jeans.
ALLIE: This is amazing. I feel like this is going to come out for everyone else and we’re going to have you back for a billion episodes, because this is so helpful. Just the science behind it and the eye tricks. You were amazing. Thank you so much.
Good American, that’s the jeans brand. And they are truly amazing. I have a full denim pair and a stretchy denim pair. There’s a pair they have called Good Flare (everything they have is called “good” something), that is a stretchy denim.
They are high-waisted and they’re fitted in the sides and leg. Then they have a flare with a slit on the side. They are the most flattering jeans I’ve ever owned. I love them so much. They look so good with clogs too, which you guys know how much I love clogs.
Jammie, where can people connect with you? Where can they find you and learn from you?
ALLIE: Thank you so much! I’m going to message you later because I feel like I have so many ideas for us to do more things together. This is so good. You’re amazing.
JAMMIE: So are you! Thank you. Ever since I found your podcast two years ago, I binge listen. You’re always in my newsletter. You’re always on my Instagram.
ALLIE: Thank you so much. I love this babes support babes vibe. Thank you, Jammie. We will reconnect soon. Everyone is freaking out. They love you.
Thanks so much for hanging out with me! In case you didn’t know, there’s actually an exclusive community that’s been created solely for the purpose of continuing discussions around The Purpose Show episodes. It’s designed to get you to actually take action and make the positive changes that we talk about here. I want you to go and be a part of it. To do that, go to alliecasazza.com/facebookgroup.
Thank you so much for tuning in! If you’d like to learn more about me, how I can help you, how you can implement all these things and more into your life to make it simpler, better, and more abundant, head to alliecasazza.com. There are free downloads, online courses, programs, and other resources to help you create the life you really want.
I am always rooting for you, friend! See you next time! I’m Allie Casazza and this is The Purpose Show.
Hey mama! Just a quick note, this post may contain affiliate links.